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Boo Bingo: Free Event for Seniors

National Assisted Living Week

How to Handel "End of Driving'"

A dear friend recently shared with me her struggles in getting her mother to realize she is no longer safe driving. She shared with me a time her mother borrowed a car from a family member to use while she was away and within a week of having the car her mother had a wreck. Fortunately she was safe but the car was not. Hoping this would be a wakeup call for her mother she addressed the issue with her mother again and still she was unwilling to give up her driver’s license.

Read How to Handel the End of Driving

Living with Elderly Parents:What have I gotten myself into?

You did it, didn't you? You promised, long ago when your dad died, that you'd take care of Mom and she'd never have to go to a nursing home. You promised Mom – after her visit to a nursing home, one of the worst in the state, to visit a friend – that she'd never have to go to a care facility of any kind.
No, you would always take care of her. After all, she always cared for you. Or, even though she wasn't a very good mother, and you never really got along, one cares for one's own, right? Or, your mother was pretty healthy and doing okay and you were divorced and trying to take care of two children, so you moved in with your mother. She cared for the kids for awhile, but then began showing signs of strange behavior. You feared for your kids, your mother and yourself. "What have I gotten myself into?" You thought.
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When a Home Can be a Hazard

People want to stay in their own homes. You hear it and read about it all the time. And there's some merit to that. Most of us can relate to the fact that relocating is emotionally charged. Add the fact that our parents get sick and tired of suffering the indignities of aging and often feel bossed around by everyone from the government to their kids, and you can understand why they often get stubborn. Where they live may be, in their minds, their "last stand."
Many elders do well in their homes. They graciously accept the help they need, have cleaning people come in, and are even able to throw away the old newspapers that are piling up in the corner. They are content with adding some safety measures and feel cozy with a bit of clutter.
Then there's the other side. Many seniors are living in the same home they raised their children in. These homes are modest, but worked well for raising their family and even for the early empty nest years. Often, however, they are two-story cottages, with the bedrooms and the only bathroom up a long flight of stairs. They have small closets and full basements, generally stuffed to the rafters with things they've forgotten but feel they can't live without.
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Ask and Elder: Wonder Woman

August 2012 Life Enrichment Calendar

In an Assisted Living but Not Social?

Sally has lived in her home for 60+ years with the love of her life Edward. After Edward’s passing, Sally remained in their home but no longer goes out because during her marriage Edward did most of the driving and she is uncomfortable behind the wheel. Her friends who used to come around are slowly dying or moving off to be with family. Now suddenly, Sally feels alone for the first time in her life. Sally's family notices the change in her social behaviors and recommends that she move to a senior community where she would have more opportunities socialize. After the move however, Sally's family notices she is not taking part in activities and has maintained in her 'hermit-like’ ways despite the high level of social opportunities. But why?

Having worked in the senior living industry for some time, this is a story I am quite familiar with. Some may blame the elder for not taking advantage of her surroundings, others blame the community for not having enough going on, while others search for a medical diagnosis and miracle prescription drug to solve the issues. What can we do to help?

Read More about ways to Encourage Elders to Be Social

West Nile: What You Should Know

The Denton County Health Department epidemiologist has confirmed another Flower Mound resident has been positively diagnosed with West Nile fever.

This is the fourth human case this year in the community.
West Nile fever is caused by the bite of a mosquito infected with the West Nile virus; Flower Mound Environmental Services will increase surveillance and trapping operations in the approximate one-half square mile radius surrounding the specified area Wednesday.
In the event that mosquito samplings are found to be positive for West Nile virus, the town will schedule a mosquito spraying event in the approximate one-half square mile radius surrounding the area. Prior to any spraying event, the public within the affected area will be notified with community notification signs.
When it comes to protecting yourself and your family from mosquitoes, always remember the "Four D's,” as follows:
* Dusk and dawn are the times of day you should try to stay indoors. This is when mosquitoes are most active and are considered major feeding times.
* Dress in long sleeves and pants when you are outside. For extra protection, you may want to spray thin clothing with repellent.
* DEET is an ingredient to look for in your insect repellent. Always wear repellent when outdoors, and choose products that contain up to 20 percent DEET.
* Drain standing water in your backyard and neighborhood - old tires, flower pots and clogged rain gutters. These are mosquito-breeding sites.
The town staff will provide further information if mosquito samples are found to be positive for West Nile virus. Flower Mound Environmental Services responds to all mosquito concerns with an inspection of the area, larvicidal treatment of any potential mosquito breeding areas, and increased efforts to eliminate areas of standing water.
For information, contact Flower Mound Environmental Services at 972-874-6340.
Read More Here

Gorgeous Grandma

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Gardens as Medicine

The Healing Garden at Massachusetts General Hospital. (Photo courtesy Mass General)
Want to feel better? Think nature. Healing gardens are a growing trend. Many major medical centers, including the 6,300-square-foot rooftop garden at the Yawkey Center for Outpatient Care, part of the Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston and the NIH Clinical Center, and long-term care facilities, are adding them. And so are homeowners.
The basic elements of a healing or therapeutic garden include:

• Plants and wildlife
• Walkways
• Private sitting areas
• Shade
• A water feature

Most are outdoors. Some have raised planters so patients and family members can plant, weed, and work the garden. Sometimes they have medicinal herbs, such as primrose or foxglove.
Scientists say natural settings can lower stress, blood pressure and heart rate, and muscle tension and negative thoughts. The idea is that lowering stress can boost the immune system and speed healing.
Physicians at Jupiter Medical Center in Florida realized that some patients who could see—they didn’t even have to be in—the hospital garden had less pain, needed fewer medications and had shorter stays than patients without a garden view. I don’t know how they figured that out, but what an endorsement!
The gardens’ restorative and medicinal benefits have many converts: substance abuse, pediatric, burn, HIV/AIDS, hospice, cancer, stroke, brain injury, psychiatric, and dementia patients.
But they’re really intended for a wider audience: not just patients, but visitors, family members waiting for surgery to be over, exhausted caregivers, and staff looking for a breather. Some support groups meet in healing gardens.
How come it took so long for us to catch on? They’ve been around forever from the Middle Ages to ancient Egypt and Greece to Japan (as in Zen gardens). In 1879, Friends Hospital in Philadelphia started a program for psychiatric patients who staff noticed were acting calmer after being in the ground gardens.
Don’t have a healing garden? Relax! Here’s what you can do:

1. Create your own mini-garden. Even on a city balcony, you can have an area of plants. You don’t need all of the features (water, pathways, private sitting areas) to have a lovely oasis.
2. Have land and want a more professional therapeutic garden? Use a landscape architect.
3. Call medical centers and ask if they have gardens. Go visit. If you’re considering a home mini-version, see what you like and what you don’t like. Or just enjoy.
4. The next time you’re visiting a relative or friend in long-term care, take them outside. If there are gardens and pathways on the grounds, hang out there awhile. Walking around the grounds is good exercise for both of you.
5. If there’s no formal healing garden that you know of, don’t sweat it. Head to your local park or arboretum.

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July Life Enrichment Calendar

Ask an Elder Mousy Mom

Dear Elder,

As a working mother with small children, I have been finding it harder and harder to keep up my once “glamorous” appearance, or at least it seemed glamorous compared to what it now is! I am not as skinny as I once was and have difficulty finding time to primp and pamper myself as much as I once did. I feel like I am letting myself go and need some advice on some quick tips or ideas you might have on reinventing myself and primping in about half of the time that I used to have before children and a full time job.

Signed,

Mousy Mom

Dear Mousy Mom,

During my career I worked as a  

Cosmetology Instructor for Beauty Schools and know many quick tips and tricks that any busy mother can use in order to look her best at the drop of a hat! First never forget the basic makeup necessities before leaving the house, which include foundation, mascara, lipstick, and blush. Start with foundation to cover any imperfections and remember if you are out of blush you can always use lipstick as a substitute.  Another great tip that I love is when out of shampoo you can use vinegar (light vinegar for lighter hair) which removes unwanted oil and ads shine.

Signed,

Vivian Weyer,

Your Elder Advisor

Accepting the Need for Hospice Care

Beth's mothers is in her 80's, and has been diagnosed with terminal cancer. She also suffers from mid-stage dementia. A friend of her's received wonderful care from an area hospice, and would like to see her mother have that kind of care. The problem  is making herself go through the process. Beth's mom knows that hospice means she has been designated terminally ill, though they don’t know how cognitively aware she’ll be when Beth puts everything in place. Beth know's Hospice is right for her mother, but she is still struggling with it.
Read about accepting the fact that our parent is nearing death:

Siblings Caring for Aging Parents

Jamie, Tracey, Billie, and Terry all love their parents Bill and Geneva, but after their mom Geneva's recent hospitalization, Terry and Jamie felt it was time for their parents to make the move to a senior living community that offered more assistance to the both of them. However, Billie felt that their mom and dad could still live at home with minimal assistance, while Tracy thought they needed to move in with her. Sounds like a mess huh?

Read more about siblings caring for aging loved ones 

Read what happens when sibling disagree on Care

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